Episode 16: "BOSS HOGG ÉSPECIAL" feat. Chanel Beads, Colle & Ian Kim Judd *FULL EPISODE ON PATREON*

Geopolitical events. We talk about this a lot, actually. So we don't need to talk about it. I think everybody should chill out. Nice. And stream Your Day Will Come. Yeah. Out April 19th. April 19th. April 19th. Just turn it so it's on the outside. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Otherwise it's just going to get stuck in your... How am I saying? This is a really disaster. Oh, really? No, no, it's good. Cloud Farm is playing at my house. That was all I came here with. I saw them like two, three weeks ago and it was like really depressing. LCE sound system? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen them twice in the last couple of years. The first time was amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the second time it's just like... It's just the same set again and again and again. I guess it made me feel old. They're kind of classic rock now for millennials, you know? Absolutely, yeah. But they're kind of a band that's sort of about, like, keep the dream alive, you know? The millennial dream just, like, lives on and on forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter how high house prices go. Really? Yeah. Did you like it? No, it was, like, honestly, it wasn't them. It was, like, the setup was really bad. I thought they were really popular among annex cardholders. Yeah. I mean, I am an Amex car holder, so there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking love them. Ooh, damn. Yeah, man. Nice little introductory offer for me. What do you think all the gear money goes? I can't afford it. It's on the Amex. It's just fun to pay for stuff on it as well. It's cool because, like, some places don't take it. Exactly. So you're sort of like, you can be a little bit snobbish about it. You can feel a bit persecuted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're persecuted for having a good credit score. I'm a man under 5'6", I always fall persecuted. But it's short King's Spring now. Shit, it is. And I'm in the Big Apple. Embrace it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This podcast is about giving voice to the voiceless. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I do week in, week out on Clubhouse. We're glad to be able to give all of you, all you marginalized peoples, a platform of any kind. You put me on my Apple box. Yeah. I feel like a big man once every fortnight. The Apple box. Who holds up? Someone say fortnight? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love that game, man. Yeah, Ninja got diagnosed with cancer. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Same time as Kate Middleton. I think we were saying. Well, there's this weird thing where, like, cancer rates amongst people between the ages of 18 to 40. Aren't they high enough? No, yeah, yeah, exactly. They're trying to boost the max. Cancer rates amongst LCD sound system fans. Cancer rates among LCD sound system fans. Well, they're the ones who are going to outlive us all. I think through LCD Sound System. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something about it. They're going to live forever. Yeah, I can see... That's kind of what all the songs are about, you know? I can see James Murphy getting into funding cryogenics. What? They just got a 60-year residency, so they've got to finish that out. A 60-year residency? 60. Yes. At MSG? As a band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd be breaking the contract if they... If they don't. James Murphy's definitely like 45, 50 now. I think like... He's over 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's going to be... He looks good, though. He looks kind of sexy. Yeah, he was looking hot. I think he's going to go into like one... Yeah, he's going to be like the first person to play MSG who's like over 100 years old. Yeah. Isn't his whole thing that he's 45, 50? Yeah. Is he a bit of 45, 50 for like 25 years? No, he's like a bit over 50. He was 30 like when he... He was 35 when the first album came out. It's like, you know, when you see like a, you know, like one of those Twitter content farm accounts, it's like historic pictures and it's like a 10-year-old in like 1920 and they look like 50. It was like 30 back then and like 2000 looked like 60 now or something. We're like 45 now.

He has like the biggest disparity between like the resources to smell really good and his actual smell. You smell them? No, but I feel like it wouldn't be good despite his ability to be able to smell really good. And that is a problem. So like every time you write... These are hidden. Wait, is it named after... Are they named after famous dead lifter? No, that's Ziz, not Zin, right? Oh, it's Zin. I thought it was Zins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, my bad, my bad. Ziz? R.I.P. Ziz, yeah. One of the best looking guys. Stay Myron. Who is this? He's like the OG handsome guy. Really? Yeah, yeah. Sorry. He was like an handsome guy. Yeah. Damn, I thought that was me. That's the funniest way to describe him to someone who's never, doesn't know anything about him. No, he's just like Australian. bodybuilder who just like roided himself to death too early. He was like the first like kind of guy to go from like nerd WoW gamer or League of Legends gamer to like Adonis. He was the first person to do that pipeline. Flew too close to the side. Yeah, no, genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can only master one thing in your life. Okay. You know what I mean? And he mastered two things. And he was punished for it. And he died. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. God-like gamer. God-like body. I feel like that's probably like a good starting point. What have you mastered, Ian? Is it like a mastery roundtable? I've mastered? I think, yeah. Did you say masturbator or masturbator? No, no, no. I wouldn't lower myself to that sickening standard. Who's that guy? Tony... Soprano? No, Tony. He's the motivational speaker. Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins would call that the 10,000 hours thing, right? Yeah. Or 50,000 hours? I think they keep pushing the goalposts. Yeah, they keep adjusting for inflation. It's like, yeah, the 10,000 hours thing. I think I'm only good at listening to music. That's it. And I'm not even that good at it. I couldn't tell you anything about it. If you asked me about any artist, I would just be like... Name any artist. Name one artist. Chanel Beads.

Sitting to my left. That is the most perfect segue. All my ears sound like you're saying Shania Twain at first. It's going out the zen in my... Alright, Maya, mastery. Mastery. I'm sorry, miastery. I'm definitely not a master of anything. You mastered UX in three months. True. But that's not like... If we're going to go off 10k hours... Hey, don't listen to this guy, man. Wait, what's the UX then? Oh, I like taught myself how to do like product design. And like I made a PDF on how to do it in three months. And like switch, do like a whole career switch. That's what's up. For like anyone. Yeah, yeah. This is like an extracurricular activity or something? Yeah, I just like did it because it was like, I felt like it would be a good resource. I didn't say what it did. Because it worked for me. You guys did, like, a pen. Yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a coding decant, but I wouldn't say I mastered anything. Right. That's, like, the whole thing. My whole, like, I had so many friends who, like, learned how to code and, like, gave me all their resources. Like, free university courses that they, like, were, like, I ride and die for this. Like, just intro stuff. So I have, like, a whole thing of, like, links and stuff to, like, free stuff. But it is useless if you're not actually motivated to do anything. Have you designed any products? Huh? Have you designed any products? Yeah. That's what I do. Rattle them off. Yeah. Like, talk about it? I have a very cartoonish conception of what a product is. It's just like... It's like bucket. That's fair. Maya created those holes that they throw on the ground in Looney Tunes. Before you fall, you're on the help side. Okay, so it's like some acne shit. Show some of the holes that they drill in men's bathroom doors. Oh, I've seen those. That was all her. Oh, wait, you were the first one to make the wall that looks like a landscaper that I'm going to drive full speed into? Wait, that's sick.

I haven't thought about that in so long. What are those called? They had one. What are those called? They had a huge one at California. Wait, did you say I haven't seen one of those in a long time? I thought I'd be seeing a lot of those. I've lost so many friends to those things, so I don't think it's a laughing matter. Shane, Mastery. Well, I've been thinking about it. What do you like reluctantly master? That's a cool question. What do you what have you reluctantly master? That was a cool question. Oh, I know for sure. I've reluctantly mastered that Like it's an annoying guy trait where you like actually like really like South Park recently I'm really good at that. You're really stretching the stuff that sucks. Mastering coming around to things. Mastering a master of acceptance. But not defending it, just being in my own personal world. I've been liking something that's not... I watched it again recently, a couple months ago. I had this really... I played Good Room the night before and just had a vicious hangover the next day and I was with Mira. I was on that couch you guys are sitting on for an entire day. And it took one of these, like, CBD gummies that were, like, I think mislabeled. Because I got, like, just abominably high. Whatever. I mastered getting high that day. And Mira and I were watching Barry Lyndon at 1 p.m. Just, like, the least afternoon movie you could watch. And I started, like, going after it was over, I started just, like, sitting there just thinking. And I was, like... fucking horrible husband like just go do the dishes right now like be really nice oh I need to go give my wife a foot massage so I like when like gave her a foot rub and she was like what are you doing and I was like I'm just being a better husband so freaked out like so insanely high and

It didn't make my high go away. It's almost like when you get really high, you're like, okay, if I just go do that, I'll stop being high. And then it's like, no, you're just like still, you know, suffering. Wait, is this in the middle of Barry Lyndon? This is after Barry Lyndon. Before South Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then like Mia gets up, she goes and like, I don't know, just, I think like goes and gets more high or something. And I'm like sitting there and I'm just like, I'm like, okay, I think I'm a better husband now, but I need to watch something that's going to like. make me feel good. Maybe something from my past. And I like, I've just put on like season one of South Park. Just started cruising through, just crushed like 10 episodes. And I felt a lot better. Yeah. Yeah. I put on some Guy Fieri too after. That's like a good sign because I feel like when I watch stuff when I'm high, I'm like, you can see so many layers that you don't want to see. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, we got, I feel like we had a terrible time watching. Notting Well, I thought Hugh Grant was charming until this experience Yeah, what was this was his riz poor? Yeah, yeah, I think it was maybe he was so it's like he saw the master before you were ready. He's riz poor but rich in virtue. He is like super virtuous. He like did this whole crusade against phone hacking in the UK because his phone got hacked. He was hacking phones too much. Went to school with my dad as well. He's wrong. It's interesting to start like he's so virtuous because something bad happened to him and then he ensured it doesn't happen. Pretty much. He's like English Batman. Exactly. No, that's it. He's virtuous because he did that. I think that gives you some virtue. I feel like virtue is like when it doesn't affect you. Wait, it's something you sick was, no? Yeah, yeah, totally. Like out of your own volition, do something that's not like directly affect, I don't know. He helped a lot of other people. Well, I feel like, you know, did you cheat on Liz Hurley? Who didn't? Wow.

Not Austin Powers. I met Liz Hurley once. And she was filming in the studio I was working at. No, she was at the break with Nisha. Yeah, she had the break with Nisha. She went on stage with Tim, right? Yeah. But they were filming like a Samsung phone advert. And there was like a kind of studio cat. And I was playing with a studio cat. And she came over and she was like, hey, kitty, kitty. And she looked at me and was like, let me play with that cat. And I was like, Liz Hurley, man. She's still a fox. Yeah, I was hoping you were using cat like God. Yeah, no, no. She was messing with me. She was messing with me. I was so distracted by the accent. She's almost 60. I know, I know. Fucking hell. She was wearing a ball throats. Okay, speaking of being like a good husband, can I just say you keep a very clean household. Oh, thank you so much. It's like mad clean in there. I think it's always like this when Mira's not here. I keep it like pristine. For me. Yeah, that's just true. Oh, it's pube infested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a carpet of pubes. Pube infested is a disgusting word. That's a fucking disgusting word. I don't want to hear it again. You're actually like a mad hypercontract. I am. You are, yeah. Selectively, yeah. I remember the first time I told you I got sick and you just sent me like the longest list of things I needed to do. First of all, kill yourself. Burn your corpse. Don't invite me to your funeral. It's so crazy that I managed to make it to New York after doing that. I saved your life. Love the most for being sick. Wait, so are you like a master of like how to cure health and in like... the right vitamins or no it's mainly i'm just i have like contact hypochondria so when i like come to like door handles are like really upsetting to me this is fine this is actually good yeah this is actually really reassure yeah like door handles like really freak me out so like whenever i touch them i have a sort of like conditioned like need to sanitize my hand yeah okay for sure i feel that so whenever i sort of like deep put a door handle like i immediately feel like dirty yeah yeah no i really feel that i feel that with my own phone

Yeah, when you, like, insert it into your mouth, it's, like, it's a little, like, common. But genuinely, I'll, like, hand sanitize my phone after it's come into contact with my hand or after it's come into contact with something that I think is even, like, peripherally kind of, like, dirty. It's a form of, like, OCD. It's, like, not a healthy way to live. Yeah. So you've mastered germophobia? I've mastered, like, really selective germophobia because it's, like, the hygiene, like, ends at my, like... Like my forearms. It's like silly. Other than that, it's pure infested. What's a good infested though? What's a good infested? Friend infested. Love infested. Swag infested. I like, I mean, abusing the word infested in that way is a good abusive language. Faith infested, that's a fun combination. Wait, it's a whole congregation. it's a it's a commute it's a communion of faith but wait i want to understand what what do you feel like do you feel like south park is like tainted in some way no i just will i was thinking like i feel like the the like uh oh i actually like the bad like i'm not saying south park's bad or good but they kind of like that framework of like oh that shitty thing i actually like it kind of is like annoying to encounter at this point I feel like that might be, like, I feel like that's more prevalent in the U.S. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. But it's, like, embarrassing. Well, it's, like, South Park kind of became, like, a curriculum for, like, a certain type of, like, a person, you know? Yeah. It's, like, the edgelord, American, the American edgelord is kind of, like, born. I mean, South Park is, like, sort of, like, a fundamental, like, text or something. Yeah. Of all of that. I remember, like, there was just, like, a whole period. I think when I stopped watching was, like, Around in high school, it kind of turned into, like, it stopped being, like, it's just the world that they inhabit. And it kept being, like, something would happen, like, in the news or something. And people would be, like, man, I can't wait to see what's happening. Right. Like, famously, like, the human centipede one. That was, like, my, like, stop point. Yeah.

When they did surgery on a grape, I was like, I cannot wait. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, who did surgery on a grape? Huh? Who did surgery on a grape? They did. They did. They did. What was their reaction to? They did surgery on a grape, I guess. I don't know. Rob, what's the mastery situation, man? I've mastered good times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how are you finding out? It's working. It's masterful, yeah. I feel a sense of mastery, for sure. I feel like you're the master of, like... of time management. I think I'm the master of putting up with people's shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Putting up. Putting up with people's shit. Yeah, for sure, 100%. I actually got invited, but you know, masterclass? Yeah. The idea of me delivering, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm actually going to the Harvard School of Business Management to teach a course on label management. Yeah. It's about time, man. That's great. Yeah, that's why I'm here. No, Rob's ducking and weaving. I've got Rob on retainer for at least one session next week. For general master. Exactly, exactly. Cal over here, he's just out of frame, off mic. This is my bestie and label manager. Cal Ass Hoon. Yeah, Cal Ass Hoon. You should yell something iconic. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

No reveals. Tito. You beep it out? Yeah, we can beep it out, yeah. It's really good. That's hard as hell. Triple A. Triple A. Your child's going to get laid so much, man. You've raised a fucking... Yeah, and then it's just that. Do you think you'd raise a child in the city, or do you think you'll go in country mode? We're going to raise a child in the city until, like, a certain age. My wife would love to raise him in a little field, but I would like to raise him near rats and hipsters. Yeah. It's a bit of a compromise, so we're moving near the park. I tend not to differentiate between rats and hipsters. Hopefully Windsor Terrace. Oh, wait, where's that? It's like... It's like for people that can't afford to live in Park Slope. Yeah, totally. Oh, okay, it's right next to it? Yeah, yeah. It's like a Park Slope annex. That's awesome. You should name them Five Yo Foreign. DJ Lucas. All the major labels need to see this. If they keep playing with my heart, I'll need a pacemaker. You know I really taught my talks like a naysayer. That boy DJ flipping out just like a straight racer.

Look like dope in a wax paper. They know I really got my talk until it's legislature. I got the hay fever. Guess I really top my cocks like a non-believer. Sitting idle in my car just like a fucking creeper. Reviving my fleet because I'm anxious as a bitch. Came up out the valley so I'm hanging on the cliff. And my homie hooked on drugs and said there's no way to resist. This is my shot of the mountain but we're still gonna coexist. Yeah, we should have some input. Every rapper. DJ Lucas. Why did DJ Lucas get cancelled? Listen, there's a lot of allegations that are associated with me that will soon be revealed, but that's for a different podcast. We'll get into that. DJ Lucas has been a badass boy, and it will all be detailed very soon. Well, that doesn't help. Is that a Patreon plug? Yeah. Go to the Patreon. So, we were doing some congratulations, by the way, Kel. Yeah. That's amazing. Do you approve the children? Oh, yeah. I respect anyone who has viable sperm in this day and age. in this age of microplastics and such. I was hubrmaxing for a long time. So a little crazy deep cut. We did a little bit of an investigative deep dive before this podcast and some information came to light regarding you having an incident in what is currently known as the Chaz where you were drinking alcohol dot dot dot illegally?

So, uh, for those who don't know, uh, Cal Anderson Park is, uh, used to be the name of the Chaz. I guess that is, like, the, uh, uh, I guess we're going to do, like, a land acknowledgement at the Chaz. Like, we are on what is formerly known as Cal Anderson Park in Capitol Hill. Wait, you were there? I was, I wasn't at the Chaz, but I was, I was, uh, I, when I lived in Seattle... My friends and I would go to Cal Anderson Park a lot, and it was in Cal Anderson Park where I almost got arrested twice. Well, no, one time, no, no, no. I didn't almost get arrested the first time. The first time, my friend and I decided that we were going to go tag something for the first time. We didn't know what we were doing. We didn't have, like, paint pens. We literally had, like, Sharpies. We were, like, 19, and we were like, let's just, like, go tag and, like, see what it feels like, you know. So I went to Cal Anderson Park. on, like, a Thursday night and just started, like, writing, like, scribbling shit on, like, you know, the, like, the benches and the walls and shit. And I just hear this guy out of nowhere just be like, have you no respect for public property? And he turned around and he's just like, like, latte sipping, like, NPR liberal guy. He's like, I've been following you all night. I've seen it. As long as you tag over here. As long as you tag over here. Like, show some respect to the park. And we were like, oh, my God. Like, it was like the Seattle version of, like, you know, getting arrested. Like, getting chided. Never tagged again. I was too scared. And then a year later, my friends and I were all, it was like 10 of us, and we were in Cal Anderson Park, and we were just enjoying some microbrews. It was a very random time. We were drinking, like, Fat Tire. And then we would just be like, it'd be like a six pack of like every type of beer you could imagine. It'd be like Modelo, Fat Tire, IPA, Triple IPA. Rainier. Rainier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like crazy stuff. It'd be like just everything you could imagine. Like a very vibe-less style of drinking that only works on like a 20-year-old, you know? Yeah, Kratom. Yeah, Kratom mixed in, you know? Yeah, yeah, totally.

Probably some Sparks, I think, maybe, or early Four Loko days. And, of course, we got busted by some cops. We're at Cal Anderson, and, you know, they started gathering up all of our IDs. They had us sitting there for, like, an hour, and they were just, like, slowly going through all of our IDs, and then they were, like, he was, like, calling for backup, and he literally was, like... we got the paddy wagon on the way. I was like, do you still use that term? As an Irish-Korean person, too, I thought I was a kid. And, um, yeah, I mean, so we were all sitting, we're fucked. Boom. We were, like, fucked. And, uh, then suddenly, like, I just hear on a CV radio, is that what you call it? The CV? Like, someone would just be like, officer down! And the cop just goes, oh, shit! And he was just like, Consider yourselves lucky. And he, like, threw our IDs on the guy. No way. And just, like, they, like, ran off. Whoa. And then got out of it. I mean, like, it was like, you get, like, a ticket for underage drinking, right? Yeah, definitely. He wanted to throw our ass in jail because we were, like, luckily that cop died. Yeah. Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people Clout is killing our people They move like the groupies, them Sending shots or snap But in real life don't use this gang of experiences in that park pre-chat.